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Comebacks


Mike Braaten

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So sometime last year I was doing a feature and the director had me wearing the steadicam from call until lunch then back on till wrap. It was a baseball movie and we where shooting during the summer in Acton as well as San Bernardino. One day I had to go use the mens room and was trying to get 5 minutes to take care of business. One of the producers told me to go ahead, "I will cover you" I walked over to basecamp and was met by a p.a who said I was needed on set. I walked past him and went about my business. When I returned to set I found the producer jokingly putting on my vest, so I helped him and told him how to do it, no moving just standing still getting crowd reactions. He did well for the first 30 seconds but offcourse the director shot till we rolled out. I took the sled and vest off this producer, he couldn't even speak. He went home shortly after that and didn't come to work for the next 2 days. About a week and a half later my masters arm broke on me. The same producer had me take it to Tiffen and payed for the repair out of his own wallet!

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"Don't take that thing onto a NY subway. You look like a terrorist."

 

I would think the proper way to reply to this statement is:

 

- "Are you kidding me? Have you seen what some of the people on the subway are wearing?!"

or

- "The subway is a sinch. The problem is the turnstile... "

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Get all the usual "robocop" / "is it heavy?" / "how much did that cost?" stuff but my favourite was a short where the set had been built in a non-air conditioned "studio" (really a student theatre) and by the time the lights were all on, it was absolutely baking in there. Everyone had streams of sweat running down their face. We only had a couple of steadicam shots but they were fairly long.

 

In between takes I'm waiting at first position when the first comes over me looking all concerned at the rig and asks if I'm feeling okay, if I want my stand etc. I decline gracefully, thinking that by the time the frazzled assistants can get the stand from its hidey hole round the back of the set, they'll be ready for another take. I have the rig slung back over one shoulder. The first, who's been on a Mission (capital M very much intended) all day to Properly Hydrate and Rest Everyone (not that I'm complaining), looks suspiciously at my lack of enthusiasm regarding all things stand related, and without any further word, reaches out, grabs the post (which I release in surprise), and lifts the rig up a foot or so. The arm is still taking all the weight, and in fact it's fairly unpleasant as he's now moved the whole thing further away from my body.

 

The first looks very pleased that he's being so hands-on and downright sympathetic to my plight, and continues to "hold" the post up whilst directing people around him. I'm so taken aback by this turn of events that I can't quite bring myself to point out that he's making no difference whatsoever. This continues for a good couple of minutes whilst whatever we're waiting for happens, during which time he has to shift around a couple of times to let people past, but always manouvers himself to continue "holding the steadicam rig up". I made sure I looked "all relieved" when he finally let go.

 

At least his heart was in the right place...

Edited by Ed Moore
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reaches out, grabs the post (which I release in surprise), and lifts the rig up a foot or so[/b]. The arm is still taking all the weight, and in fact it's fairly unpleasant as he's now moved the whole thing further away from my body.

 

 

Hi Mr. Moore~

I admire your patience and I must admit you're good at restraining yourself. I don't know if I would have punched him in the face or not, but I've definitely made it clear to anyone who has made a grab (including directors, DPs and producers) that the post shouldn't be touched until I say so. I mean, you wouldn't grab any part of someone's anatomy without asking first, right? It's just not considerate...

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