Hi Matt,
I think you have to admit that it is funny but don't take it too serious. The guys in this forum a very nice. Actually I just talked to an colleague today and he told me that he ordered a steadi system from India several years ago because he wanted do some private stuff with his DV camera and said that he was positively surprised what he received for 1000,- US$.
The system is called flycam 6000 and build in India, I can't tell about the quality and everything else. If you google it, you come to the site www. tradeboss.com and there they sell it for 1500,-US$. Maybe a try worth but I'd rather rent a real rig like an old EFP or something similar.
Good luck and best wishes,
Jens